y senior year of college and a few months after i graduated, i worked for a patent law firm. all of us there (including patent agents, secretaries, and lawyers) happened to be LDS (mormon). mormons don't drink coffee. we were a new utah branch of a firm that had offices all over the country, so when we moved into our permanent offices, we had to furnish it. we bought a coffee-maker and coffee for the kitchen in the event that someone was hired who wanted it, or if clients came in and requested it. it sat there, never used, for over a year. then one day, a client came in. my boss asked if he wanted some coffee, and he did. i was so excited. i looove the smell of coffee, so i'd been wanting to make some ever since we bought the coffee maker, just so i could smell it. i went into the kitchen, got out enough coffee for one cup, put in a filter, and turned it on. nothing happened. i realized there was no water in it, but i had no idea how to get water in it. i mean no clue. i spent about 5 minutes looking for the manual for the thing, but couldn't find it. i asked rebecca, the other secretary, if she knew what to do. she didn't. then i flipped up the back and saw that water could go in there. that must be what i was supposed to do. so i started to fill up the back with water. then i realized i had no idea how much water to add. so i filled it ALL the way. probably about a gallon of water. i turned it on and went about my business. when the pot was full, i poured some into a mug and took it to the client. a while later i went back and asked if he'd like more, but he hadn't even finished the first bit, so he said no. i didn't think much of it.
until a few years later.
i was watching gilmore girls and in one episode, lorelai makes her own coffee instead of getting it at luke's. she filled up the pot with water, then poured it in the back of her coffeemaker. i wanted to die. i had filled up the back of that thing with at least four full pots of water. i just sat it under running water and let it run 'til it was full.
no wonder the client didn't want more coffee.
it was just hot brown water.
14 April 2010
the one about the coffee
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11 comments:
HI-larious!! i would have no idea either!
funny stuff! ...to this day i have no clue how to make coffee.
Wow! I love this post for so many reasons, not least among them the Gilmore Girls! And I've known how to make coffee since I was like 4 years old, and would never have stopped to think that there are plenty of people who've never wanted it and so therefore never made it...if you ever want to make it for the smell, I'll drink it for you. :)
oh my hilarious. didn't you ever make coffee at applebees or red robin?
-gym
so funny!
When I used to do food demos at Costco (oh the jobs I've had!) I got coffe creamers one day, so I was making coffee all day long. And so many people told me that I make the best coffee ever. Who knew? And I sold all my product that day and got to go home early.
I was also in charge of making coffee at M(squared) in MD - remember that co.?
Anyway, I guess you must not have inherited my awesome coffee-makin' skills.
When I worked as a carhop at a drive-in, I had to make drinks: sodas, floats, freezes, milk shakes, coffee. I had no clue how to make coffee either but I figured it out. Soon people were asking who made the coffee that day...if it was me, they ordered something else. I guess I don't have the touch either.
Hahahaha!!! That is too funny. I would have had no clue how to make coffee either.
I have absolutely HATED being asked to make coffee whenever I've worked or interned someplace, because I couldn't ever figure out those contraptions! Even once they'd show me, I'd have some kind of mental block and just could NOT figure it out again. UGH.
I know a guy who's Mormon and he worked as a bartender. He says he would always get HUGE compliments (and big tips) on his mixed drinks. Turns out, since he didn't have a clue how to make them, he'd follow recipes to a "T," unlike the other bartenders who would just sort of mix them together without measuring or using a recipe. Funny.
I admit, I would not have a clue how to make coffee. It would end up brown water at best. =) Thanks for the chuckle.
Doh!
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