We went to the park today (it's November 19th and it's almost 70 degrees outside...we are loving it!) and Isaac appeared to make a new friend. He was pretty big and I heard the boy say he was 4 1/2, but when Isaac said he was 3 1/2 it didn't seem to bother this kid. So they ran and chased each other forever and seemed to have a lot of fun. Then some older kids showed up at and this punk little boy started pushing Isaac whenever he came near, and telling him "You're not my friend, go away" and even refused to stop the merry-go
-round so Isaac could get on. I could see Isaac looking around for me with tears in his eyes trying so hard not to cry, and when he saw me walking toward him he couldn't help it and burst into tears. It just broke my heart. In my mind I saw myself grabbing this punk by his shirt and hanging him up on the playground equipment and giving him a piece of my mind: You don't make my kid cry or you'll learn to regret it and then pummeling him Scut Farkus style. Of course I didn't and we just went somewhere else and kept playing but I was so mad. I still am. Why do kids have to be mean? I guess it touches a nerve because I was bullied in middle school. Never beat up or anything, but I was sort of a nerd (I had a perm and wore jean shirts and jeans and penny loafers...I would have fit in at BYU but not in Albuquerque middle schools) and, well, let's just say when they announced over the loudspeaker that I had made cheerleading at the end of our eighth grade year my entire classroom bust up laughing. I even had my brother who was in high school bring some friends one time to intimidate some boys who were mean to me...it was truly a terrible time in my life. So I've always had this fear of bullies and the thought of my own kids facing them makes me sick to my stomach. Isaac seems to be pretty big for his age and could probably hold his own with kids his own age, it's just the older kids I worry about. How do I protect my boy from terrible things like this? I suppose I can't protect him forever and someday he'll have to learn how to deal with things like this on his own, but ugh. I guess the one good thing that came out of it is that when we left the park, Isaac said "I sure had fun with that boy." and I said "Even though he was mean to you?" and he said "Yeah." What a good example of forgive and forget. I'm not so kind.
-round so Isaac could get on. I could see Isaac looking around for me with tears in his eyes trying so hard not to cry, and when he saw me walking toward him he couldn't help it and burst into tears. It just broke my heart. In my mind I saw myself grabbing this punk by his shirt and hanging him up on the playground equipment and giving him a piece of my mind: You don't make my kid cry or you'll learn to regret it and then pummeling him Scut Farkus style. Of course I didn't and we just went somewhere else and kept playing but I was so mad. I still am. Why do kids have to be mean? I guess it touches a nerve because I was bullied in middle school. Never beat up or anything, but I was sort of a nerd (I had a perm and wore jean shirts and jeans and penny loafers...I would have fit in at BYU but not in Albuquerque middle schools) and, well, let's just say when they announced over the loudspeaker that I had made cheerleading at the end of our eighth grade year my entire classroom bust up laughing. I even had my brother who was in high school bring some friends one time to intimidate some boys who were mean to me...it was truly a terrible time in my life. So I've always had this fear of bullies and the thought of my own kids facing them makes me sick to my stomach. Isaac seems to be pretty big for his age and could probably hold his own with kids his own age, it's just the older kids I worry about. How do I protect my boy from terrible things like this? I suppose I can't protect him forever and someday he'll have to learn how to deal with things like this on his own, but ugh. I guess the one good thing that came out of it is that when we left the park, Isaac said "I sure had fun with that boy." and I said "Even though he was mean to you?" and he said "Yeah." What a good example of forgive and forget. I'm not so kind.
5 comments:
Ugh. Bullies make me crazy too. Isaac sure is a good example though, I wish I was that quick to get over things! Way to go kid!
Bullies are the WORST! I was bullied too in junior high--who isn't? There was this mormon boy who had a clan of friends and every time they saw me they moo-ed at me. Mind you, I was NOT fat!
And I know what you mean about your kids. Carly came home from school the other day upset because some of the kids were teasing her because she doesn't know Spanish. She was crying and my heart ached for her.
Don't even get me started! last year was a nightmare here because of that...
I guess the important thing is to teach your kids that the bully is the one with the problem and that they are OF WORTH. Luckily the church helps with that in many ways...still it doesn't make life easier on a day to day basis. There is no easy answer on this one!
Em, I want to beat that kid up too! Breaks my heart when I see kids being so mean. At least it doesn't seem to have bothered Isaac since he had fun with him. Just makes me sad to think about all the times we'll deal with this issue in years to come. Our kids aren't even in middle school yet...
sounds like it's something everybody faces at some point? ugh.
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